teacher: what unit of measurement-
me: in daylights
teacher: thats not-
me: in sunsets
me: in midnights
teacher: you cant-
me: in cups of coffee
teacher: thats impossi-
me: in inches
teacher: yes! thats what i-
me: in miles
teacher: but you just-
me: in laughter
me: in strife
teacher: *opens mouth*-
me: in five hundred-twenty five thousand-six hundred minutes
teacher: well in this case you dont measure in ti-
me: how about looooooooooooooooove
teacher: i give up
me: measure in looooooooooove
me: seasons of loooooooooooooooove (attempt to harmonize with myself)
I hate it when
people I don’t like use the same baby names that I had picked out. Now I have to come up with something different because there is no way my next child will have the same name as the spawn of a two-bit whore.
Fuck You Lifetime and the movie titles you know I...
Sexting in Suburbia?! Really? How am I supposed to pass that up?!
DO THIS →
high-eyes: I will write about the following, anonymous or not leave one in my ask box Dear person I hate, Dear person I like, Dear ex bestfriend, Dear bestfriend, Dear *anyone*, Dear Santa, Dear mom, Dear dad, Dear future me, Dear past me, Dear person I’m jealous of, Dear person I had a crush on
me: hey can you call someone for me
parental unit: um no? you can do it yourself you're grown up.
me: OH SWEET JESUS GOD NO. I CAN'T DO THIS I'M GOING TO COLLAPSE PLEASE OH MY GOD I LOVE YOU I JUST CAN'T DO THIS I'M GOING TO BREAK. THEY'LL THINK I'M WEIRD. THEY'LL JUDGE ME. THEY HATE ME I CAN'T DO THIS.
infin-ty: the awkward moment when you’re playing musical chairs at a party and the guys are the chairs